Sweat bands. I don't think these are a necessities because I don't see too many people wearing them but for me its a must. There have been a few too many sweat and mascara cocktails in my eye to not start being proactive about head sweat. It's difficult to run with sweat in your eye, it makes you run with that pre-sneeze face. You know the one, eyes pinched closed and face all distorted in anticipation of your immediate future. It doesn't take long running with my eyes closed to end up on your face believe me I speak from experience. The only difficult question is, which way do you go 70's NBA player or biker bandanna style? I'm usually a biker myself but that's because the elastic on the other ones leave lines across my forehead and frankly age has graced me with enough lines there already.
Bra and underwear. These are obvious necessities for women, but which ones? A bra for me is a crucial part of my run because A. I really don't enjoy nearly knocking myself out and B. If I don't have a good bra my chest would feel like it did a few rounds in a prize fight with Evander Holyfield. The bra matters. A good bra makes all the difference on long runs. I don't think this is for fashion, this is function all the way. If you can't afford the fancy running bras just do what I do, keep it classy and wear two cheap ones. No one can see this fashion hack so do it up. The underwear. *gasp* Yes I'm about to talk about underwear. There is such a thing as running underwear. I foolishly thought it was some kind of bionic stuff that when worn would run my race for me. Sadly this is not the case. I would imagine you do not want your undies running up your rear as fast as you are running towards the finish line but hey to each their own. Can you imagine trying to keep a pace and pick a wedgie all at once? It will throw off your gate mess with your stride and you could injury yourself. Then there you are in ER explaining to doctors that you have a wedgie related injury. Nobody wants to have that conversation. So spend the money and get yourself some fancy running undies this is not for style points this is for the well being of your tush and your pretty face.
Running leggings. Did you know that running pants aren't actually called running pants? Neither did I, they are called running leggings. Fancy huh? To me running leggings felt like I had to be wearing a running dress or running tunic but that's not the case. I didn't know a lot of things when getting my first running leggings. I went with the cheapest and blackest. I was banking on black being slimming. I didn't get it quit right though I made the mistake of buying cotton leggings. Picture yourself working in the yard all day in a cotton t-shirt, do you ever get "pit stains" under your arms or a ring around the collar from sweat? Well that will happen to your pants. It's horrifying I had no idea how much my rear end sweated until after a run in cotton leggings. These are things I can't unsee people. Sweaty behind and sweaty thighs in cotton pants all add up to you looking like you've peed your pants. As I was running up to someone I felt I should scream "it's not pee it's sweat! Don't judge me!" and keep on trucking. So now I spend the extra money and buy the amazingly absorbent, partially plastic, shiny running leggings. Turns out that fancy material is not fashion it's totally function. Plus there's a bonus, the material is really slick so it reduces the drag between your legs as you run. No more feeling like you're going to start a fire between your thighs as you go ladies. Every little bit helps. The other thing to remember about your leggings is, do not buy your leggings so they are comfortable. I bought mine in my size and then while running I was constantly having to hold my pants up. It's hard to run and hold your pants at the same time. If your trying to hold your pants up on each side of your hip it looks like you're doing a chicken impersonation as you ran. Always buy them one size too small so they cling when you run, unless you want to be showing off those new running undies.
Shirts. I don't know that shirts really matter. Well, I mean they matter a little I wouldn't go running topless but that's your purgative. As long as you have your fancy running bra go wild. I will do you all a favor and be sure to run with a top on. I think most of the running tops are just fashion. Some have little pockets in them and some claim to breath better then others but I say, whatever. I wear all kinds of tops as long as it doesn't have sleeves. I have my running like Phoebe Buffay moments and in that case sleeves only hold me back. The longest run I have done in my quest to achieve 13.1 is 7 miles. By the time I hit 5.69 miles I understood how it felt to be Phoebe. There was flailing and thrashing all over the place I just needed to finish, I didn't say it had to be pretty. Sleeves would have only exacerbate my pain.
Shoes. Oh yes the bane of my existence. Running shoes are ridiculously expensive and very necessary. The right shoe really does make the difference in a lot of ways. The biggest difference it makes to me is to my wallet. It's the difference between having a hundred dollars and not having a hundred dollars. So many running shoes these days are all about fashion though. They are neon colors and have designs that look like they were designed by Picasso. I think they are all cute enough but I will take the cheap pair that are one step above those solid colored shoes that all restaurant employees must wear. I run for fitness not fashion. I have a better place to spend a hundred bucks, like saving for a fancy bra. I began running because I didn't want to invest in exercise/sports equipment. I thought running would be the cheapest sport to try but it turns out it's badminton.
Accessories. There are arm straps that hold your phone, GPS watches to track your distances. There are running lights and water bottles that strap to your body. There are running socks and special running sunglasses. It's endless the amount of things that are marketed to "help" you run. I think the first thing I will try is a belt that holds water bottles. Right now I just run with a bottle of water in my hand. The problem with that is, I get half way through my run and half way though my water at the same time. So now the water is loudly sloshing back and forth in the bottle all the way through the second part of my run. It constantly reminds me there is nowhere to pee. It will keep you focused on finishing your run in a speedy fashion though. You have to take the good with the bad. I'm thinking those belt bottles are more function than fashion. I am training for a half marathon so I will keep you posted on what I think is just for fashion and what really helps. I have always wanted a fanny pack so hopefully in the near future I will scratch that off the bucket list.
What do you get when you add all of these fancy clothes and accessories together? A streamline super runner who obviously knows what she's doing and you should always mimic her because she obviously knows what she's doing? Nope, not if you are talking about it on me. I can buy all the fancy clothes and gadgets but I still don't know what I'm doing. With me you get a chunky biker who's well supported and lifted, with non-thug, non- pee pants, and ugly fancy shoes. I run like Phoebe Buffay with flailing arms and an awesome shirt with no sleeves, while carrying a water bottle and have a "gotta finish so I can pee" look on my face. You don't have to be like me or anyone else out there. You are not an impostor. If I can pull off this whole running thing certainly you can because I haven't a clue what I'm doing but I love it. So the moral here is who cares what you look like when you run just get out and do it. We all look crazy while running it's an understanding among runners. The ones that look like models when they run aren't human anyway. At least that's what I tell myself.
I still don't want to run! LoL but I did find it funny and informative!
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